So today had the potential to become real crappy, real fast....I was gearing up for a bad one and, to my surprise, everything went smoothly!
On top of that, my dear, beautiful, sweet friend Lisa took me and the kids to see Madagascar Three! It was a great movie and exactly what we needed....to get out of the house for a bit and just laugh. Lisa seems to always know the perfect thing at the perfect time.
Other things on my mind today: how no relationship is perfect, no matter what. I sold one of my Coach purses today for gas money (it was one I never carried...too small for all my mommy gear), and the woman had to come meet me at Farm Fresh because she "didn't want her husband to know she bought it on Craigslist". Umm...OK. Her plan backfired when her aunt came walking out of the grocery store when she was standing by my car with the purse in her hand and had to explain that one real quick, so ultimately, her deception lasted barely longer than its conception. But what does that say about her relationship? Instead of asking her husband to accompany her if he felt uncomfortable with her purchasing things on craigslist, she tried to sneak around and hide it? Why did she feel it was serious enough to lie about? I feel like our society condones these "white lies", where the wife lies to her husband about finances or shopping and he lies to her about "meetings" at the strip club. They feel it's no-harm/no-foul, but it's laying the groundwork for bigger and deeper deception.
Who am I to judge the craiglist purchaser? I got my gas money, she got her Coach purse, and I'm sure she spun a good yarn to Auntie. Case closed....just food for thought.
Heard from yet another friend today about the frustration of living in Hampton Roads...he's a single father and has no help. He's done it his sons' entire lives- their mom bailed early in the picture (and might I add, he's awesome at it....he's a great dad to those boys). She still gets visitation, and because they've been with their mom for three weeks, he has felt especially lonely. Not to mention, it's only highlighted the fact that it's really only him and the boys, so when they're gone, he really has no one. Boy, do I get it.
Maybe because Hampton Roads is such a transient area, maybe because people here really are...crappy [which I don't want to believe]...I don't know, but I'm hearing from oodles of people now (perhaps because I'm leaving they feel safe "confiding") that they feel so alone in Hampton Roads. There is no friend bringing pie by just because...no friend to watch the kids while you get your hair done (unless you want to pay her, in which case lots of "friends" will watch the kids for money)...no friends bringing by a bottle of wine to cheer you up during a bad break-up....the biggest show of affection is when someone is leaving! How strange!
I saw a quote today that said if you want people over...invite. If you want to be called, then call. I did!! I told all my friends, "Hey, my door's open...swing by after work sometime!" and I meant it! I even bought thrift-store gems like margarita glasses, martini glasses, wine glasses....some of them have never been used because no one took me up on my standing offer! I'm packing them all up in wads of newspaper and taking them with me, because I know if my SC girls are good for one thing, it's coming over and drinking my booze! {{I'm looking at you, Stacie, Teri, and Cember. :) }} [Although I also know they will watch my kids in a pinch, help me move furniture when I need it, and go with me on a hike or shopping adventure.]
I know quite a few people who would fall under the category of "mover and shaker" in Hampton Roads. They're creative thinkers, problem solvers, and go-getters. I challenge those people to find the answer to this conundrum of what is preventing people with a fairly normal amount of crazy in their lives (we all have some, don't deny it) of forming the type of bonds we see in other areas nationwide. Don't say it's an "urban" syndrome...I personally know people with intense bonds and deep friendships in Brooklyn, Manhattan, LA, Seattle, and those are all vastly larger metros than this. There's something about here that's inhibiting true, rich, and deep human connection....I hope those that remain here can fix it. That's it. Stepping off the soapbox now.
P.S. Sweet JESUS, thank you for the cooler weather!! It feels amazing right now!!
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