Again, inspired by a friend...looks like Katherine's pushing me to blog this new year more than anyone else! :)
It's hard to rattle off a list of "what I hope to do this year" without sounding like an annoying list of resolutions that pretty much everyone has, but I'll try.
1. Lose weight. Wait, don't leave!! Stick with me here! Between 2011-early 2013 I lost a total of 80 pounds. I was back to freshman year of college weight and loving it. And then I started using a medication. On largely the same diet and lifestyle, I gained thirty pounds back. Since I only discontinued use of this medication halfway through December and have already lost ten pounds, 1) I don't think the weight gain was "my fault", especially since other women record excessive weight gain as a side effect of this medication, and 2) it won't be difficult to lose the weight again...just annoying. It was annoying to meet a nice guy over Christmas as "the fat girl". It was annoying to pull out a pair of pants I thought I would never wear again all because of some stupid medicine. It was annoying to keep eating veggies, quinoa, etc. and still be gaining weight. It was annoying to not have control over my own weight like that. So I just wanna shed these annoying pounds as quickly as possible and get back to being myself again.
2. Professional growth...in a big way. Perhaps some people make goals of getting a promotion or reaching certain sales goals...now, we all know nonprofits don't work like that. You get a raise if you get Jay-Z to donate/speak at an event [in other words: never], and we can meet fundraising goals year after year..not really a big deal. But what I'm excited about, just so excited I can't stop working, night, weekend, vacation, is that I have found this special little groove where precisely all of my talents and skills work beautifully. When I head into work, I'm whistling, smiling, excited to be walking in the door. My coworkers are stunning people- smart, talented, kind, compassionate, professional yet they care like family. The particular team we have right now is one of the most productive, communicative teams I have ever seen in nonprofit development, much less had the privilege to work with. Obviously those who work in nonprofit development have the satisfaction of knowing they are raising money for a good cause- but to also know that your work is recognized, appreciated, and making a specific, real, and measurable difference...well that's a dream come true for us. I'm literally living my dream!
3. Exploration. Something clicked in my head this past fall, when doing one of my personal monthly budgets. I'm saving, and recently was looking at houses...but deep down, I have zero desire (in fact, was dreading) owning my own home right now. The thought of working a 50+ hour week, shuttling kids to/from practices/games/etc. and then coming home to have to deal with mowing the lawn, a roof leak, a busted pipe...it's like my worst nightmare...I think it's any single mom's worst nightmare. I know that to some, especially down here in SC, living in an apartment or townhome is an instant sign of poverty- the "inability" to live in a home. Not only do I disagree, I think millions living in metro areas would also disagree. Living in an apartment is a lifestyle choice- it's a decision to not deal with a yard, with maintenance time and cost; it's convenience. That being said, when I looked at my five, ten, twenty year goals, traveling and exploration is at the top of that list. Suddenly a light bulb clicked on in my head and I was looking at this budget and the amount I've carefully marked to store away each month and realized I don't have to wait to travel to some of those places on my bucket list...the time is now! A few weeks later, I saw "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" and my mind was definitively made up- I came home that night and made reservations in hostels across Ireland and began planning my trip. The world is too vast to spend our life spinning wheels in circles in one little location...time to stretch the legs and get out a bit.
4. Being a better mom. This is on my list every year, and while there aren't really measurable results (I'm a statistics person...I like to see the numbers to back up any gain or loss), I think you can "feel" when it's working. This past year I tried to retire my spanking hand (I think there were less than ten spankings all year...among all three kids, so not bad), tried to eliminate yelling, and worked on spending time with each child, discovering their skills/talents and their interests. To my delight, two of my kids are nuts about Star Wars (whoo!), Callie is interested in music and art, and Grayson is at the age where his interests are beginning to determine the friends he has (for example, there are boys at his after-school program who just play football, and then there are those do homework together, read together, play football together, and play-act scenes from LOTR and other movies together...Grayson belongs with the latter set). While I can discuss with him that that makes him awesome- it makes him diverse, smart, creative, and well-rounded, it doesn't make it easier when the lead "football boy", a delinquent named [ironically] Judge, punches him in the arm every day and calls him a "f*ng dork". Grayson is a big boy, big for his age and set to be around 6'2" when he grows up, so add that to his intellect, his charisma, and his well-rounded character, and I have no doubt this "Judge" character is going to regret his decision to bully him in a few years, but for now it makes a tough situation for us. Navigating new and scary waters of life like this made me realize that "being a better mom" is always going to be on my resolution list, because every year it will be different challenges like this for us. At the end of the day, giving the kids lots of love, hugs, time, and listening is what I can do and what I will continue to do forever and ever.
So there are what I would list as my goals for 2014, although they are largely the same as last year and will most likely continue to be similar for years to come. Overall, improving myself and being the best me I can be...that's it. Some years are years for explosive growth and some are just rebuilding years...I feel like I'm coming off a rebuilding year and am heading full-force into some truly mind-blowing stuff! Just have to hang on for the ride...
