Who's scared of failure? EVERYONE!

This weekend I finally gathered the courage to share my book outline (over three months since beginning to scribble it out) with my closest friends and the boyfriend.  This was a big hurdle.

I could only wish to look this suave with writer's block...

Writers are a lot of things...we're neurotic, we're typically just slightly crazy, and we both detest sharing unfinished work and crave feedback on finished works.  So we want no eyes on it before it's done and once it's done, we demand the whole world look at it right then and give us feedback, preferably 99% positive with super cheerful, barely-there constructive criticism (or, God forbid, a harsh critic and spend the next three hours in the bathroom crying and fixing makeup....for real).

Yet I'm aware that harsh critics are what I need before even beginning to release any major piece of writing, especially criticism from my closest friends who will be more gentle than strangers.  So just the step of sharing my outline was scary...I was convinced that (a) the plot was too complex and they would say, "Whoa, whoa, this is insane..too much going on. No one will read this." and (b) that the story itself isn't compelling or interesting enough (which simply isn't true...I find myself fascinated to see how these characters' lives will play out).

Considering all of that, it was a pleasant surprise that all of them found the story very interesting, compelling enough that each time I discussed (three separate times), an intense discussion began on potential conclusions, inquiries on details of the characters, and a general sense of 'Wow, go write this now...I want to read this book.' They said that.  Two separate friends at two separate times.  How cool is that?!

Right now, I'm finishing up the outline and the conclusion of the conflict and plan on starting to pound this book out towards the end of May and then dig in over the summer and get as much done as possible before the kids all return from their respective family vacations. This is, of course, a first draft and will need much sculpting, but the plan is to get most of this out of my head and onto paper.

So, dear friends, I have a favor to ask of you. If you see me wandering around some coffeehouses this summer, dirty, with tangled hair and a vacant stare, please order me a shot of espresso (or a PBR, if after 5 pm) and direct me back to my computer.  I may take up smoking again...I may move a hammock out onto my balcony with a desk for my laptop so I can write and sleep and live outdoors. I may not smell great. You guys push me through it, and for God's sake be nice to me....you can bring out the blades when I ask you to 'read and edit'. Please and thank you.

Namaste,
~m