So, my initial burst of energy was dampened quite severely by what seems to be either a cold or a sinus infection. Seeing as how I don't have the time or inclination to go sit at the VA Hospital for 12 hours just to get a few meds, I've tried to handle it at home. But I can't quite figure out if it's that or the empty, soul-shattering feeling that keeps me crawling back under the covers, coming out long enough to make the kids meals, watch them color as I absentmindedly scratch my unwashed hair and zone out. Looking out the window, thinking, "God, look at the view I'm leaving." Thinking about all the achingly beautiful and amazing people I've met here and will most likely never see again.
My headache has finally broken enough for me to write without the screen's glow piercing my eyes, even on it's dimmest setting, but I find that the words that want to come are too depressing for me to even write, much less expect friends to read. Thirty years old, starting over...ugh, too dark to even contemplate right now, especially since the headache JUST went away.
So I'm a good day and a half behind on the list, so tonight will be a late night, working on packing the boys' room, and somehow keeping my mind off the obvious. Perhaps my posts will get more upbeat as I plow through this enormous list, but for now I feel like I'm just strapping on my boots to scale the mountain....pray for me, if you can.
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