Hi guys. I know it's been a while. My bad. The whole "gainfully employed" thing has really put a cramp in my writing :)
So we're going to catch up on several facets of my life since, as you all know, I love sharing my personal angst and joy for the world to see (and empathize or smile with me). Those facets will be, in no certain order, my kids, my job, my love life, and my sanity. You know you wanna know...
I guess I'll start with my job since it's been what's keeping me away from my beloved blog. It's a fantastic, challenging, complex job that keeps me on my toes and sometimes just flat out exhausts me. Because I'm very passionate about our organization, I am very, very inclined to work over forty hours a week...and then I forget how that affects the balance in all other aspects of my life. My time with my children in the evening shouldn't be me glued to a computer. Also, my kids shouldn't feel guilty that I have to leave work to pick them up [read: neither should I], yet I do and we struggle with it. Sans kids, I would work there seven days a week, all day, every day. I have so many ideas and projects in the wings that I flat out don't even get time to develop. My goals for work going into the New Year are two-pronged: stop making myself so available to everyone after hours when my priority needs to be having one-on-one time with my kids, and develop strategies for getting all these ideas into fruition. It's been a tiring and sometimes frustrating month, but at the end of the day I positively love this job and my coworkers and am blessed beyond belief to be here.
Who knows I love to talk about my kids? *raises hand*. Duh. Grayson is so smart it's just nuts, and he's beaming and grinning ear to ear every evening to tell me what he learned that day. The G&T program was exactly what he needed to light that fire. We're looking at med school, although he had a little hiccup a few weeks ago where he lied to me about a project and just didn't do it, thus receiving a well-deserved F and resulting in him being pulled out of basketball for the winter. He'll return to sports in the spring with baseball, but he got the message. Callie continues to push her artistic limits as she gracefully glides into this teeny-hipster persona. She wanted motorcycle boots for Christmas, and she's getting a guitar and a camera so she can really branch out and start exploring more artistic forms. While Grayson is pretty much a conformist and likes to wear what the others are wearing and not look out of place at all, Callie embraces her unique style and her confidence has led other girls to start to imitate her. I love that she loves herself so much! And baby John, he has just come out of his shell a lot this year. Pre-K was rough for him, and even the first weeks of kindergarten were rough as he was pretty shy and not used to being away from us all day, but he has really found his feet and taken off running. From not being able to identify all the letters of the alphabet in August (no matter how much coaching and assistance) to now writing short sentences and reading, he just needed that light bulb to come on and when it did, he took off with it. He's still less social than the other two and will probably always be kind of a shy guy, but at least he does have a couple of friends at school now and is getting more comfortable being with other people than family.
So..on to the love life (or lack thereof). My boyfriend and I are no longer together, but there's no blame whatsoever. I just flat out didn't have the time to commit to him that he deserved. There was a culmination of a lot of things at once: new job, kids starting school, fall sports, and my whole life was dedicated to them and work and it's really only just recently eased up some. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I lay in bed and listen to Imagine Dragons and think I will never, ever find someone for me who will perfectly fit in all the weird niches in my life. That's just my emo moments, though, and they pass. Right now I'm trying to consciously *not* think about it and live my life. I miss having regular adult human interaction but it's not fair to ask someone else to adjust to or commit to such a stilted relationship. For the most part, I'm happy most days and don't think about it more than in passing, so it's fine. (Of course I'm sitting a coffeeshop on a rainy day listening to old school Get-Up Kids, so I'm naturally more emo right this second on this topic...LOL.)
My sanity?! What sanity! My life is positively nuts! No, kidding...you know where I'm finding sanity? When I clear my head?
You ready?
Steam cleaning. I bought a steam cleaner and when I need to just chill, I steam clean my carpets. Seriously. It's like therapeutic for me. I've also decided my New Year's resolution will be to spend more time with my friends, social time for myself, sans kids. Before Friday night, it had been months since I did anything outside of family stuff. I need adult interaction and to blow off steam sometimes. So I signed up for a care.com account and will be hiring a regular sitter to get out more, even if it's just going to dinner with my friends, I've *got* to get out more. I don't think being with my kids 24/7 makes me a better mom; in fact, I'm pretty sure it makes me frustrated and tired and snippy with them.
So that's my life in a nutshell....work, work, work, kids, and trying to maintain sanity. I'll also try to get back to writing more as a release, so the blog will be getting updated more regularly and hopefully I can get these creative juices flowing again.
Much love, peace, and light.
Namaste, friends!
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