Overly Emo Melissa

There are a few things I shouldn't do when faced with a weekend evening alone:
1. drink wine, especially red
2. listen to Ed Sheeran and/or Citizen Cope
3. watch or read any romantic anything.

Generally I hang out with my friends a lot when the kids are out of town, and this week was no exception. I love being able to spend time with them and not have to be worried about rushing home for the sitter. However, and perhaps more markedly so because most of my friends are couples, it never fails that I have one evening of total, unabashed self-pity where I bemoan my singleness and reaffirm my suspicion that I will, indeed, be alone forever.

I'm sure all of you have heard that I am planning a trip to Ireland this summer. Many of my friends have asked, aghast, "You're going alone?!"  Why not?  I do everything else alone. Like...everything.

It's OK. I'm just being pitiful right now.  95% of the time I'm totally a strong, independent woman, too busy, quite frankly, with my career and kids to concern myself with such frivolous matters of the heart. The other 5%, typically after the kids have been gone for a while and the house has just gotten too quiet, I can toe the line to Bridget-Jones'-Diary-esque misery. It will pass.

Frankly, one of the reasons I'm taking this trip is to expand this part of myself...to allow my independence to blossom and flourish in a new and unexpected environment and add another stamp of "I don't need no man" to my resume (although fixing my own car and plumbing and supporting myself and my family has pretty much affirmed that). I just have a burgeoning worry that being so independent will preclude any possibility of a fair and balanced relationship when the opportunity does present itself.

And this is why Melissa doesn't sit at home alone on a Saturday night...