Do you have them? I know I've gotten asked a few times lately what mine is, and it's kind of hard to define. If I had to put it in a sentence, I guess it would be, "Stop expecting life to be like a movie and make it like one."
I have waited passively for love to come tripping over my doorstep. I have stared wistfully out the window and wondered when adventure would find me. No longer. I am heading into the gale, wrapped up in a cloak of courage and reckless exploration. This is where I stop writing the life I want and go out and make it.
In fifty years, I want grandchildren nestled around my feet, listening to me tell of climbing mountains and trekking the world over. I want my daughter and granddaughters to know that nothing about exploration, courage, daring, and excitement are for men only.
I saw a movie recently where the main character had great adventure and great love. I can plan a great adventure...I can make reservations, get tickets, cram some stuff in a pack, plan itineraries...but I can't plan or schedule affairs of the heart. I can easily see myself scaling some of the greatest mountains in the world and hiking some of the most prolific pilgrimage trails, working my way to being a development director in this or another amazing nonprofit, writing a book or two, but I just can't envision a man....well, quite frankly, a man awesome enough for me and my kids. Arrogance? Fear?
For now, I will do what I can. I will excel in my career, I will be the best mom I can be from day to day, and I will dust off the pack and boots and go walking the earth again. I will make certain there are days I power down the laptop, leave the phone at home, and go have time with my friends- beers over campfires, home-cooked meals around snug tables, game nights leaving us laughing hysterically into the night. I'll engage my neighbors and community more and enlist the help where I truly need it (like the sweet lady in our neighborhood that has repeatedly offered her home for us to come visit and to watch the kids when I need it). I'll stop trying to be superwoman and realize it truly does take a village and let others help when they offer it.
Resolutions aren't just for New Year's. Some of my most life-changing "resolutions" happened only when I was utterly fed up with where I was or my circumstances and decided on the spot to make changes. I made the decision to move away from Norfolk in about ten seconds, standing in my garden with my bare feet in damp soil and my skirt brushing the leaves of my sprawling pumpkin plants...I knew I couldn't bear the sights and sounds of the life I had built with my husband once he left, so in the few seconds between when I got a particular voicemail and my neighbor called over the fence I knew I must leave.
Rarely do these epiphanies happen to occur on December 31st. What we can do today, however, is reflect back on the year now behind us and see where we want to chart our course for better results over the next year. Maybe today isn't the day for resolutions for you, but it's a good starting point for reflection and contemplation. I'm busy with the work I love today, but this evening I will take a few moments in quiet solitude to send forth massive gratitude to the heavens for the gifts I've received this year, the doors that have opened, the opportunities I've had to shine, and for the ongoing wealth of motherhood. Through this contemplation, natural resolutions shall emerge. I hope you all find a moment to do the same.
Happy New Year, and onward and upward we go!
No comments:
Post a Comment