Raising kids in a recession...

"Even before the recession, that was more or less true. It's the dirty little secret of every middle-class person in their mid-thirties: Everybody's parents helped them out. Who do you think is paying for all those summer internships? How many new parents do you think actually have enough money for a Bugaboo stroller, let alone a down payment on a first home? And if you don't have a mom or dad who can help with ballet lessons for the kids or family vacations, God help you."

I can identify...my kids can't go to ballet lessons, or any other lessons for that matter, because I don't think I should go beg MY parents to pay for those things. Would they be nice to have? Sure! I'd love my kids to have those opportunities. But we can't afford it. Period. And ask my parents to foot the bill for my vacations? O_o. Seriously? Down payment on a home? Seriously? No, we can't afford vacations or a down payment on a home.....and we live with it. We live with thrift store clothes, ten year old cars, and long afternoons in the backyard with a sprinkler because that's the lot we're given. My husband and I both are vets, hard-working and thrifty, and we can barely scrape by. If we want something, we save a long time for it (like the facelift on our back porch, which was still done with LOTS of thrift store finds and repurposed stuff- and we felt it was a worthwhile investment b/c that's where we'll be spending our "vacations"). And we're still expected to pay on our friggin worthless student loans. Logan's starting his master's next month...will that help him find work? Maybe. Maybe not. And then it will be the most expensive gamble we've ever taken.

Yeah, it can be a crappy life. It's not like the ones we're promised in the "American dream". I have to tell my kids no ALL the time, to lessons of any kind, sports teams, name brand clothes, musical instruments, even most toys. They've learned to play with sticks, rocks, sand, random stuff in the yard, and the older generations (the ones whose kids had ponies and go-carts) tell me, "That's great! It'll build their imaginations!" Yeah, screw you. How can I look at my son playing ball in the yard and recognize he MAY have a great talent but we can't afford to put him on a measly Little League team to develop that talent. Wait for Fall Ball, son, it's free. Play with the other poor kids and have games against the other poor-kid teams, cause that will really hone your skills. I know you can fire a fastball hard enough to pop a board off the fence at age seven....but sorry, your talent has to wait until we can afford it.

We try really, really hard to make smart financial decisions. I feel guilty for paying for the good shampoo that doesn't make my hair look like fried straw like Suave does. Is that the American dream? For two people with college degrees?

And it's not going to get better. I've learned to be thrifty with my eyes closed...cheaper groceries, cheaper clothes, all thrift store, all repurposed, grow your own vegetables, cut meat out of your diet except once a week....and this is how I raise my kids. Am I to tell them to aim for college? Should they even go to college? It's a whole new frontier and we're expected to swallow the fact that we'll NEVER achieve the American dream while learning and inventing a whole new way of life and teach it to our children.

Hey, I'm not trying to be dramatic. I've read "Angela's Ashes"....I know we're not starving to death or having our children die of disease in our arms. I get it. But this isn't the life I was promised, either. If I worked my butt off to get a degree, if I served my country, then I should have a decent life and my children, who sacrificed YEARS of their childhood without their dad while he was continually deployed, definitely deserve a better lot than this.

Instead of giving Congress raises, give veterans raises. Give veterans bonuses. Give teachers, doctors, public servants raises and bonuses. Give them loan forgiveness. Give them a wage that will provide them and their families with a decent lifestyle, not scraping by and denying their children everything.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/young-people-in-the-recession-0412-3#ixzz1qzXdsDWf