So I read this article on same sex marriage threatening "traditional" marriage, and I agree completely!
I've done the "traditional" marriage thing. I've had the husband who expected me to clean, cook, do 100% of the household work, raise the children, and all of this was regardless of my employment status (so even when I had a full-time job, I was expected to maintain the home and work, while he was only expected to work).Never. Again.
I will never again enter into a cohabitation situation with a partner where we are not equals, in every way, shape, and form. I don't mind working; in fact, I like supporting myself, I enjoy having my own career, and I find it fulfilling. Therefore, if we are both gone during the day, don't expect me to come home, make a full dinner, clean up from said dinner, clean the home, wash the laundry, and tend to the kids while you watch TV with your feet up.
Can't stress enough....Never. Again.
Men now should be more evolved than that. It's only common sense, really, to recognize that if both parties are working, both parties should share the home work load equally. That's one of the responsibilities of being in a relationship as well, and if you don't want that responsibility, stay a bachelor and live in your own filth (because it only logically follows that if you don't want to clean when in a relationship, you didn't clean before one, therefore your home must be pretty filthy). Women aren't there to provide cleaning services when in a relationship.
So, no, "traditional" marriage values don't really work for me, either. I'm not submitting to any man, for any reason, period, and I'm pretty appalled that the words "submit" and "authority" are even still used in reference to the man/wife relationship (this just opens the doorway for abusive situations- obviously there are men who will abuse such authority and inflict mental, emotional, and physical pain upon their wives simply because she was taught to "submit"). So call me a radical feminist...I don't care.
All women should expect equal treatment at this point in our societal evolution. We pay the same for our education, we should demand equal pay, equal respect, and equal opportunities in the workplace, and equality in personal relationships and in the home should be a given. I refuse to even date any man who is not at least this evolved- I've wasted enough time of my life fighting patriarchal men. People should be partners in a relationship- encouraging one another's success, sharing the familial responsibilities equally (bills, cleaning, maintenance, etc), and then sharing the joys of life equally (not one party going to play golf while the other is doing laundry and cleaning the house), as well as challenging one another, realistically keeping one another in check, and supporting and facilitating one another's goals and dreams.
With all that being said, yes, I can totally see how "traditionalists" can't wrap their heads around two women (being so frail and incapable of caring for themselves, ya know) or two men (both being strong, independent providers) can happily live together. That does threaten traditional values, but then again, I guess so would my strong, independent relationship with my chosen partner... you know, the one who encourages my career, encourages my independence, does his own damn laundry, has his own successful career, and is capable of dating an independent woman without it threatening his manhood (in fact, I think he really digs it).The use of the word "traditional" carries with it a comfortable, homey connotation, when in reality, these are ties keeping us bound to a by-gone era, one many women (and men) have fought tirelessly to eradicate. For many, "traditional values" hurt: they cause people to abuse one another in a frustrating attempt to control another human being...men controlling their wives, parents controlling their gay children, ministers controlling their congregations, politicians controlling constituents [in policies some,and maybe most, of those constituents would never agree to], and they cause rifts, deep rifts, in our society. Families torn apart, divorce, children disowned by their parents, parishioners leaving churches and wandering without spiritual leaders, angry and rebellious constituents who feel betrayed by their government.....all because of these so-called "traditional" values. Time to move on, people. Evolve. It's high time for a new age of post-traditional values that actually work for our time.
